Couples and Relationship Counseling

People are wired for connection with others! That connection is an essential part of being able to thrive. So when our most intimate and important relationships are not functioning well or not fostering healthy connection, it can put a strain on many other areas of life. Couples therapy is a helpful way to address whatever issues are disrupting that connection.

Couples therapy as a whole, and regardless of specific modality, is firmly rooted in relational science. This includes addressing attachment, communication processes, behavior exchanges, and/or emotional resonance.

Statistics on Couples Therapy

Marriage counseling is a valuable approach to improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening relationships. Success rates vary based on the nature of the issues and each partner’s commitment, but many couples benefit from counseling. Key findings include:

90% of couples report emotional improvement after working with a qualified therapist (American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists).
70% of couples achieve successful outcomes (Journal of Marital and Family Therapy).
66% of couples see improvement within 20 sessions, though most leave therapy after 12 sessions (American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists).
Couples wait an average of 6 years before seeking help for relationship issues (The Gottman Institute).
Therapy enhances relationship satisfaction, fosters healthy coping mechanisms, and strengthens emotional and physical connections (APA PsycNet).
About 50% of married couples have tried counseling, showing a widespread recognition of professional help’s importance (Prevention.com).
Counseling can help even severely troubled couples, such as those affected by extramarital affairs (The New York Times).

Who Should go to Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy can be a helpful tool to promote growth, connection, and change for any couple. Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to be near divorce or in a crisis to seek couples therapy. There is never a wrong time to seek couples therapy; however, it is easy for couples to wait much longer than they need to. The average couples takes 6 years to seek couples counseling from when the problems and concerns first emerged (The Gottman Institute).

And if you are finding yourself in that crisis situation or the topic or even though of divorce has come up, couples therapy can still be a support place for a couple.

Here are common reasons couples might seek therapy:

When Communication is Difficult: Frequent arguments or silence signal a need for improved communication strategies.
When Trust is Lost: When trust is damaged, therapy provides a safe space for rebuilding it.
When Intimacy is Lacking: Therapy can address challenges in emotional or physical intimacy.
When Navigating Life Changes: Major changes, like having a child or moving, can strain relationships, and therapy helps partners navigate these changes.
When Trying to Be Proactive: Therapy can strengthen relationships proactively, fostering understanding and preventing future conflicts.

Let’s Talk Insurance…

Couples therapy is unique and doesn’t quite fit the medical/insurance model – in fact many plans outright exclude couples/marriage therapy as a covered service even if other mental health/behavioral health services are covered. And for many reasons, it is standard practice in the field to not accept insurance for couples therapy. As such, we do not accept insurance for couples therapy sessions.

At the core of the insurance issue is that for the insurance model, the individual and their diagnosis are the “identified client.” But for couples therapy, the couple is the client. Why does this matter and why does this mean insurance can’t be used for couples therapy? Here are some the reasons this is the standard practice in the field:

Medical Necessity Requirement: Insurance typically requires a diagnosis to prove “medical necessity,” which is easier to define for individual therapy. Couples therapy, however, focuses on relational issues rather than individual mental health diagnoses, and these often don’t meet insurance standards for coverage.
Diagnostic Limitations: If insurance is used, a therapist may need to diagnose one partner with a mental health condition to justify coverage, even if the primary issues are relational. This can create potential ethical concerns, as the focus is on the relationship, not solely on one person’s diagnosis.
Confidentiality Concerns: When billing insurance, therapists must submit records, including sensitive information. Many couples prefer to keep details about their relationship private, and out of insurance company records, which might feel intrusive or less secure.
Chart Ownership and Access Rights: In couples therapy, the therapist typically maintains one shared record for both partners. However, if insurance is involved, only one partner is generally considered the “identified patient” for coverage purposes, which can legally complicate chart ownership. Both partners may not have equal rights to access or control over the records since insurance recognizes only one individual as the primary client. This can lead to confidentiality concerns if one partner requests access without the other’s consent.
Specialized Services: Many therapists use specific techniques and approaches designed specifically for couples, which insurance may not cover or recognize as “evidence-based” for individual treatment. By not relying on insurance, therapists can focus on the unique needs of couples without being limited to approved treatments.