Struggling With the Transition to College? A Guide for Rowan University Students

Starting college is supposed to be exciting.

At least, that is what everyone tells you.

You move into your residence hall, meet your roommate, start classes, and suddenly you’re surrounded by thousands of other students beginning a new chapter. Social media may make it look like everyone has already found their best friends, loves their roommate, knows exactly where they’re going, and is having the time of their life.

Meanwhile, you might be sitting in your room thinking:

I don’t know if I like it here.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not the only one.

The transition to college is a major life adjustment. Even if you chose Rowan University, were excited to come to Glassboro, and spent months looking forward to college, actually being here can feel very different from imagining it.

You can be excited about college and homesick at the same time.

You can like Rowan and still miss home.

You can meet people and still feel lonely.

And you can have a difficult beginning without having made the wrong decision.

Why Starting College Can Feel So Hard

Think about how much changed at once.

Your home is different. Your bed is different. The people around you are different. Your daily schedule is different.

You may be sharing a bedroom for the first time. No one is necessarily reminding you when to eat, go to sleep, wake up for class, do laundry, study, or finish an assignment.

At the same time, you’re expected to make friends, navigate a new campus, handle college-level coursework, make decisions independently, and somehow enjoy yourself while doing it.

That’s a lot.

Even changes we choose can be stressful. Your mind and body still have to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings, routines, expectations, and relationships.

Feeling uncomfortable during an adjustment doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong.

Sometimes feeling uncomfortable is part of adjusting.

You May Miss Home More Than You Expected

Homesickness doesn’t mean you aren’t ready for college.

You may miss your family, friends, pets, bedroom, favorite foods, partner, job, or simply the comfort of knowing exactly where you belong.

You might even miss things that annoyed you when you lived at home.

Homesickness can also come in waves. You may have a genuinely good afternoon and suddenly feel miserable that night.

Weekends can be particularly difficult. The structure of classes disappears, and you may not yet have people to spend time with or know what everyone else is doing.

When possible, try not to make a permanent decision based on a particularly difficult day.

Give yourself some time to build a life here.

Your Sleep and Appetite May Change

Stress doesn’t only affect your thoughts and emotions. Sometimes it shows up in your body.

During the transition to college, you might notice that you’re:

• • having trouble falling or staying asleep

• • sleeping much more than usual

• • staying up extremely late and struggling to get up

• • forgetting to eat

• • feeling less hungry than usual

• • eating significantly more than you typically do

• • experiencing headaches, stomachaches, nausea, or muscle tension

• • feeling exhausted even when you haven’t done much physically

Temporary changes can happen when familiar routines disappear.

But sleep and nutrition also affect mood, concentration, anxiety, energy, and your ability to cope with stress. That makes rebuilding some basic routines especially important.

Try to eat regularly. Drink enough water. Get outside during the day. Move your body in ways that feel manageable. Give yourself a reasonably consistent opportunity to sleep.

You don’t need a perfect wellness routine.

You’re simply giving your brain and body a little predictability while so much else is changing.

If significant changes in sleep, appetite, weight, energy, or physical symptoms persist, it’s worth talking with an appropriate health professional rather than assuming they’re simply caused by stress.

Making Friends Takes Longer Than It Looks

One of the hardest parts of starting college can be the feeling that everyone else has already made friends.

They probably haven’t.

During the first few weeks, people often connect quickly with roommates, orientation groups, classmates, or whoever happens to be nearby. Some of those people will become close friends.

Many won’t.

That is normal.

Meaningful friendships usually develop through repeated contact over time. You see someone again. You talk a little longer. You eat together. You discover something you have in common. Eventually, someone who was a stranger starts to feel familiar.

One of the best ways to make friends, then, is simply to keep putting yourself in places where you will encounter people.

You might:

• • sit near the same people in class

• • attend a club or organization meeting

• • eat in a shared dining space instead of always eating alone

• • keep your door open when you’re comfortable doing so

• • study in a common area

• • ask someone if they want to get food

• • attend residence hall activities

• • go back to an activity even if you didn’t immediately connect with anyone the first time

You do not have to become an outgoing person overnight.

Sometimes making a friend starts with something as ordinary as:

“Are you going to dinner?”

Alcohol Can Make Socializing Feel Easier — Until It Doesn’t

For some students, alcohol becomes part of the social landscape of college very quickly. If you’re anxious about meeting people or worried about fitting in, drinking may seem like an easy way to feel less self-conscious.

Pay attention to the role alcohol is playing for you.

There’s a difference between choosing to drink socially and beginning to feel like you need to drink to talk to people, make friends, relax, sleep, or cope with being unhappy. Alcohol can also interfere with sleep and can make anxiety or low mood feel worse afterward.

You don’t have to make the same choices as the people around you to belong. And if you’re noticing that alcohol or another substance is becoming one of your main ways of getting through college, that’s worth taking seriously and talking about with someone you trust.

Go to the Orientation Activities — Even If You Feel Awkward

The scheduled orientation and welcome activities may feel awkward.

Go anyway.

This can be especially important if you’re shy, anxious, homesick, tired, or someone who normally waits for other people to initiate plans.

Orientation activities aren’t designed only to entertain you. They also create opportunities for new students—most of whom don’t know many people yet—to repeatedly encounter one another.

You don’t have to love every event.

You don’t have to stay until the end.

And you certainly don’t need to walk away with a new best friend.

The goal is simply to give connection a chance to happen.

If you stay alone because you don’t know anyone, it becomes harder to meet anyone. Feeling more isolated can then make leaving your room feel even more difficult.

Sometimes interrupting that cycle means doing something slightly uncomfortable before you feel completely ready.

Your CA Is There for This

Your Community Assistant (CA) isn’t only there for residence hall rules or emergencies.

CAs can be an important source of support while you’re adjusting to campus life.

If you’re homesick, struggling with your roommate, unsure how to meet people, overwhelmed by residence hall life, or simply don’t know where to go for help, consider talking with your CA.

They may be able to help you think through a problem, identify campus resources, or point you toward someone who can help.

You do not have to wait until something becomes a crisis before asking a question.

Learning how to use the resources around you is part of learning how to navigate college independently.

Try Not to Compare Your Inside to Everyone Else’s Outside

You will see groups of people walking across campus together.

You may see social media posts from parties or events you weren’t invited to. Your roommate may seem to have found friends immediately. Someone in your class may appear completely confident.

But you don’t know what any of those people are feeling when they’re alone.

College can create an enormous amount of social comparison because so many people are trying to figure out where they fit while simultaneously trying to look like they already know.

Someone else’s highlight reel doesn’t tell you how well they’re adjusting.

You are allowed to be new at this.

Give Yourself Permission to Have a Hard Time

There is an uncomfortable truth about growing up:

Sometimes life feels pretty awful while you’re adjusting to something new.

Not every uncomfortable feeling needs to be eliminated immediately. Loneliness, uncertainty, awkwardness, frustration, and homesickness can be normal responses to a major transition.

Learning that you can experience difficult emotions and still move through them is an important part of becoming more confident in your ability to handle change.

This too shall pass.

That doesn’t mean every problem magically disappears. It means that how things feel today isn’t necessarily how they will feel forever.

The campus that feels unfamiliar now may eventually become a place where you know exactly which path to take to class, where you like to eat, who you text when you’re bored, and where you go when you need quiet.

The people who feel like strangers may become your people.

Give that process some time.

When Is It More Than a Difficult Adjustment?

Normalizing the difficulty of starting college does not mean every struggle should be dismissed as homesickness.

There is a difference between:

“This transition is really hard.”

and

“I’m not doing okay.”

There isn’t one exact number of days or weeks that determines when someone needs help. Pay attention instead to intensity, persistence, and how much your symptoms are interfering with your ability to function.

Consider reaching out for additional support if:

• • sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness feels intense or isn’t improving

• • you’re isolating yourself most of the time

• • anxiety is preventing you from attending class or participating in daily life

• • you’re experiencing frequent panic attacks

• • you’re consistently unable to sleep or are sleeping most of the day

• • changes in appetite or eating are significant or persistent

• • you’re struggling to complete basic daily tasks

• • alcohol or other substances are becoming your primary way of coping

• • your academic functioning has declined significantly

• • you’re having difficulty managing your emotions

• • you feel increasingly disconnected from yourself or others

• • you’re thinking about hurting yourself, wishing you weren’t here, or feeling that life isn’t worth living

If you’re worried about your immediate safety or believe you may harm yourself, seek immediate in-person help through emergency or crisis resources rather than trying to manage those feelings alone.

You don’t have to wait until you meet some imaginary threshold of being “bad enough” to ask for help.

Support can be useful before things become a crisis.

Finding Support as a Rowan Student

 

Start with the resources already around you. Rowan University Counseling & Psychological Services offers free, confidential support to currently enrolled students, including individual and group counseling and other mental health resources. Rowan also offers Let’s Talk, brief, informal consultations for students who may want to talk with someone without necessarily beginning ongoing therapy.

Some students choose to seek counseling outside the university as well.

What’s important is finding support that fits your needs.

Asking for help isn’t evidence that you failed to adjust to college.

Sometimes getting support is part of how you adjust.

One Difficult Beginning Does Not Tell You How the Story Ends

If you’re reading this from your residence hall wondering whether coming to Rowan was a mistake, you don’t have to answer that question tonight.

You don’t have to decide how you feel about the next four years based on the first four weeks.

Eat something.

Get some sleep.

Leave your room.

Go to the activity.

Talk to your CA.

Text someone and ask if they want to grab dinner.

Call home when you need to.

And tomorrow, try again.

College doesn’t have to feel like home immediately.

Sometimes belonging is something you build.

When you’re ready, we’re here.

If adjusting to college has become more difficult than you expected, you don’t have to figure everything out alone. The Artemis Center for Guidance provides mental health care for young adults in South Jersey, including services in Glassboro (within walking distance from campus) and telehealth for eligible New Jersey clients.

The Artemis Center for Guidance, LLC is an independent mental health practice and is not affiliated with, sponsored by, or endorsed by Rowan University.